New year, new us.

OK, so I know it is April already, and I have not posted since last year. Jacob was born on March 15th after a scheduled induction. I know there are a lot of people that will condemn me for having an induction, but it was for the best. I would not have had the help that I needed had I not agreed to it. Jacob will be 4 weeks on Monday and he seems to be doing well aside from my overactive letdown when he is breastfeeding. He is a very easygoing baby and loves to be held. He absolutely refuses to sleep in the bassinet, so we co-sleep. It makes it much easier on breastfeeding and allowing me to get more rest though. He was 6 lbs. 7.9 oz. and 19" at birth , at 1 week he was 6 lbs. 10 oz. (Jacob did not lose any weight after birth) and at 2 weeks he was 7 lbs. 1 oz. I will see how much weight he has gained on Monday. I have started my cloth diaper stash and now have 19. Everyone that I talk to still thinks I am crazy for going this route, but I am sticking to my guns. I am well aware of the extra energy and time that will be invested into this but I am especially aware of the money we will be saving. I also have a diaper sprayer, so that will make the job easier. As of right now, Jacob is wearing disposibles until he can fit into the cloth diapers that I bought.

Alej is still having problems at school, but it seems to be less frequent now. We have set goals that he has to reach before he can get a reward. Twice now, he has gotten within a couple of days of getting his reward when he pulled something and blew it. I don't know what is going through his head! We finally had the intake with the new facility last month and just receive a phone call a couple of days ago to make his appointment for the full psychiatric evaluation. We have to wait until next month. Ugh! He is continuing his supplements and they are still helping, but they don't seem to be enough anymore. Aside from the trouble at school, we have daily struggles getting Alej to get his homework done. I mean really, 2 hours for 3rd grade homework?! He spaces out and when Zavie and I try to explain what needs to be done, he looks at us like we are speaking a foreign language! How many times can you explain simple multiplication before you sound like a broken record? It is almost the end of the year and I am afraid that if he doesn't get it soon, Alej will be held back and repeating 3rd grade. If that happens, then he will be doing the same work with Elijah. Elijah on the other hand, is doing wonderfully. His grades are great, he behaves perfectly at school (except for a couple of mishaps) and he gets his homework done within half an hour of coming home. The only problems I have with him is getting him to spend time with the family and not hiding in his room and the usual protests of getting his chores done. How can they be so completely different?

On another note, Raymond is having eating jags where we can't get him to take a single bite of his food, or he will take two bites and run off and hide. He cries for candy (which I have pretty much cut out of his diet) and threatens me if I don't give him what he wants. I bought organic treats and Pediasure to try to get him to eat healthier, but it doesn't seem to be working, I even have to stand over him to make sure that he drinks the entire bottle or eats the entire snack. Why is my child starving himself? Is is too much to ask for him to eat? Time to go for now, hopefully I remember to post next week!

It has been a couple of months since I last posted. Alej is doing good, but I think we need something else to add to his regimen. I will be 25 weeks tomorrow and found out 5 weeks ago that we are having another boy! His name will be Jacob Daniel. He is healthy so far, just measuring big. The last I was told, he was measuring a week ahead. At my appt. last week, the doctor said that he was measuring larger so I will need another U/S to see how he is doing. I don't think I am going to make it to my due date at this rate! Raymond has recently been diagnosed with allergies and asthma, so he is on daily meds and a nebulizer treatment twice a day. I knew that it was a possibility that one of my children would have asthma, I was just hoping that it would bypass them all. Elijah is doing wonderful. He still has issues with his allergies, but otherwise he has no problems and is excelling in school. Alej was recently in the school spelling bee as the 3rd grade representative. He came out in 3rd place, with a 4th grader as the winner. I go back to the doctor on January 4th (Raymond's birthday!) and we will see how Jacob is doing. I will post again then!

I started Alej on the new supplements this morning. To my surprise, there was an improvement already. I was told it could take months. Could it be a coincidence? I will just have to wait and see. We are still waiting for the transfer to the new doctor to be completed. At least I have some hope that he may not have to go back on medication. I will update as things change.

A New Approach

So, Alej has been getting a cup of coffee in the morning for the past 5 days to help manage his ADHD. I got a note from his teacher yesterday stating that his behavior is off again and he stated that he thinks the coffee is the reason. Here comes the tale spinning again. He had a couple of days at school without incident which tells me it has been helping. Apparently the coffee is only helping for about half the school day. I got some information that some supplements help to manage the hyperactivity and the inattentiveness as well as to improve concentration. I was pointed to L-Theanine, GABA, 5-HTP and Omega 3 with EPA. At this point, I am willing to try anything. I ordered them and should receive them in the mail within the next week. I am getting very close to pulling him out of this school and doing the virtual charter school. He did so well when the work was going at his pace and he was getting one on one attention. Wish I had more support for it. On another note, I am now 13 weeks pregnant and officially out of the first trimester. I can't wait to get my ultrasound and find out the sex!

On to more positive things...

I have since found that a cup of coffee in the morning helps Alej control some of his behaviors during the day. I have decided that I am going to try to incorporate more homemade items into our diets. I have found a great site that has some homemade recipes, but am always looking for more. I am open to any ideas that I find on control Alej's ADHD naturally, especially since it will be at least a month before he sees a doctor (grrr!). We are also looking to buy a house since renting a larger home will cost so much more than a house payment. More info to come...

The Catalytic Role of ADHD

I posted this on Cafemom, but thought I would add it to my blog along with my personal thoughts.

From http://www.addresources.org

At its simplest level, ADHD represents a delay in the development of self-control. How does this fact explain the dramatic prevalence of other learning, emotional and behavioral problems children with ADHD appear to suffer? Will the treatment of ADHD reduce the occurrence of these problems? In this month's article I will explore the catalytic role ADHD appears to play in increasing risk for affected individuals to develop other developmental, emotional and behavioral problems.

Let's consider four common problems that often present in children with ADHD: Anxiety, depression, oppositionality and learning disability. Consider the role self-control may play in each of these conditions. I cannot think of a manner in which delayed development of self-control would be a buffer or protective factor in reducing the risk of any of these conditions. In fact, just the opposite appears to be the case. When a child has to deal with stress causing worry, fear or helplessness, a key component in the child's outcome is his or her ability to process and think about emotions, consider alternatives and take some action, whether it be thinking or acting differently to cope with oncoming stress. Children with ADHD are cueless. They tend to miss important cues in their environment.

This leads them to be "repeat offenders." They know what to do but often don't do what they know because they miss the cues to act. They have trouble developing habits. Possessing a habit is insufficient if you don't cue yourself when it is time to put the habit into play. For example, a street corner is a cue. It reminds you to look both ways. If you forget to remember the cue, even though you understand that traffic is dangerous you may find yourself in the middle of the street as you thoughtlessly chase after your ball.

Thus, many children with ADHD over-estimate how they are doing in life. They seem carefree and apparently unbothered by their struggles. For the most part this is because they are unaware of exactly how poorly they may be doing. This awareness often hits them like a freight train when they finally realize that they are about to fail a grade or lose out on participating in an enjoyable activity. The primary means by which human beings cope with problems of depression and anxiety relates powerfully to self-control, self-reflection and thinking differently. When most children engage in problematic behavior we usually ask them what they were thinking. However, for children with ADHD the better question is "what weren't you thinking?" It is the absence of thinking that often leads to problems.

Many children with ADHD are oppositional, simply because it is difficult for them to stop and think through what is being requested and consider alternative responses. Their oppositionality occurs either when they are doing something they like and perceive that what you want them to do they will like less (e.g., playing when called to dinner) or are attempting to access something they view as desirous (e.g., wanting to play Nintendo instead of doing homework). It is rare that a child with ADHD is oppositional in other types of situations (e.g., there is no reported case of a child with ADHD in the midst of cleaning his room refusing to stop when parents indicate that it is time to leave for the amusement park).

Finally, consider that if learning to read, write, spell or complete mathematics is harder to accomplish for a particular child, that child is likely to become frustrated. If in fact your self-control is limited, you will frustrate even quicker. Thus, if you struggle with delayed development of self-control and also are struggling to develop phonemic awareness, exactly the activities required to master reading - more time on task and more repetitions of reading activities - are exactly the activities you are least likely to choose to engage in.

Thus, it is not surprising that among a group of children clinically diagnosed with ADHD the rate of learning disability is 20% to 30% with as high as 80% falling behind by high school, the rate of anxiety 20% to 30%, the rate of depression at any given time as high as 25% and finally the rate of oppositional behavior as high as 50% to 70%.

Can the treatment of ADHD reduce the occurrence of these problems? Given the view that ADHD is a catalyst, the absence of the catalyst decreases the chances of a reaction. Thus, although there are no guarantees that a child at risk to develop depression, anxiety, learning disability or oppositional behavior will not develop these problems if their symptoms of ADHD are treated, there is a reduced probability that these problems will develop. Further, should they develop, the ongoing treatment of ADHD will likely reduce the severity of these problems. Co-authored with Dr. Nancy Mather, our book, Learning Disabilities and Challenging Behaviors: A Guide to Intervention and Classroom Management (Brookes, 2001) provides an indepth overview of these conditions as well as strategies for effective classroom intervention.

Ok, after reading this, it has come to my attention that many of Alej's behaviors cannot be controlled. Why, oh why, did the doctors and therapists not inform me of this when I brought up some of these behaviors? I have been dealing with my son in all the wrong ways. I still need to do more research, but this points me in a new direction. It is me that needs to change, NOT Alej.

I need a vacation!

Ok, so after having Alejandro come home early 3 times last week, I thought everything would calm down this week. But NO!! Today, I have my sister's 3 kids, Amber 12, Brandon 9 and Emily 4. And all of them are sick! So everything was going relatively smoothly with 4 kids in the house when BAM! I get a call from the school telling me that Alej had thrown up in class and had a fever. Oh joy... So I go pick him up from school and bring him home just after 10 in the morning. Mind you, I had to let Elijah know that once again, he has to walk home alone. My gosh! School has not even been in session for a full month yet and Alej has gone home or has been absent 5 days. This is getting ridiculous! Anyways, chaos reigns in a house with 5 kids in it and the quietest one still gone. Ok, enough with the venting. Beyond all of that, I am trying to find alternative therapies to deal with Alej's ADHD. I don't want to deal with seeing my son suffer from even more medication side effects. There has got to be a better way out there that will work for him.